How to Use “The Goldilocks Rule” to Fuel Your Motivation and Access More Flow
Credit: Artwork by Arshie Mocti
Last week’s newsletter focused on discovering what truly drives you, helping you tap into consistent and sustainable motivation. I want to continue this conversation because motivation is a recurring theme for so many high performers, many of my clients, and quite honestly, myself.
Do you remember the classic fairy tale - Goldilocks? And her quest for finding the fit that was “just right”? In this week’s newsletter, I’m diving into how you can apply the Goldilocks Rule to find your own sweet spot. I’ll show you how this principle can help you stay motivated, avoid burnout, and drop into deep states of flow - simply by striking the perfect balance in how you approach your work.
Have you ever felt like your work was either a walk in the park or, on the flip side, a mountain too treacherous to climb? You’re not alone. Many high achievers struggle to find that sweet spot between boredom and overwhelm.
So, why do so many people stumble in their quest for consistent motivation?
One major reason is a lack of understanding of what genuinely drives their motivation.
Last week, I talked about intrinsic motivators and the five core drivers of intrinsic motivation: autonomy, mastery, curiosity, passion, and purpose. While tapping into these is crucial for leaning into what really fuels you, there’s another secret I want to share:
Consistent motivation isn’t about working harder or even smarter - it’s about working just right.
Enter the Goldilocks Rule. By applying this principle, you can tailor the way you approach your work to make it challenging yet achievable. This approach not only helps maintain your performance and motivation but also enables you to drop into a deep state of flow during any task or activity.
The Goldilocks Rule is actually one of the golden rules of flow. And the key is to choose tasks that are closely matched to your abilities - not too hard, not too easy, but just right.
Flow exists within what’s known as the “flow channel”.
This is where a delicate balance where the challenge of the task or activity, ever so slightly exceeds your skill level - not so difficult that it overwhelms you and drives you into anxiety, but not so easy that it bores you. When you consistently engage in tasks that fit this Goldilocks sweet spot, you don’t just create a single moment of flow - you set the stage for a self perpetuating cycle of motivation.
When you’re in the flow channel, your mind and body are in sync - focused entirely on the activity or task at hand. You experience a sense of control, deep satisfaction, and tangible progress. This state isn’t just enjoyable - it’s deeply rewarding, both psychologically and physiologically. Every time you experience flow, your brain releases a cocktail of neurochemicals that reinforce this positive experience, making you eager to return to it. Over time, this creates a powerful loop - the more you engage in flow, the more motivated you become to seek it out again.
“The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen.”
This concept was famously explored by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who described flow as the “optimal experience”. His research speaks to the idea that flow isn’t just a byproduct of certain activities - it’s something we can actively cultivate by finding that perfect balance between challenge and skill.
So, how can you use this rule to not only boost your performance but also fuel your motivation?
Here are 5 ways to start applying the Goldilocks Rule in your work:
Assess Your Current Skill Level: Reflect on your skills and current abilities - look to focus on tasks that are attainable yet push you slightly beyond your comfort zone
Set Incremental Goals: Break down your larger vision and goals into smaller, manageable milestones. This creates a roadmap for where you are going and provides you with challenges that are motivating
Seek Feedback: Create a feedback loop by regularly checking in with yourself (or others) to ensure you’re not just hitting your goals, but also finding that sweet spot of challenge. Continuously adjust as needed
Adjust Challenges as You Grow: As you develop your skills, gradually increase the difficulty of your tasks or activities to keep them stimulating and engaging
Prioritize Meaningful Work: Choose tasks that resonate with your values as well as your long term goals. Ensure that the tasks are not just rewarding, but also challenging
The beauty of the Goldilocks Rule lies in its simplicity and power. By finding the right balance between challenge and skill, you can tap into a consistent source of motivation and regularly access a state of flow. This isn’t just about getting more done - it’s about achieving deeper fulfillment and maintaining a high level of performance over the long term.
As we enter into a new month and almost new season - when you go about work this week, I encourage you to take a moment to assess whether you’re operating in that sweet spot? Are your tasks challenging enough to keep you engaged, but not so daunting that they push you to burnout? If not, you might want to consider making some adjustments.
Keep striving for that "just right" balance and you’ll be amazed at how much more fulfilling and effective your work can become.